Behind Enemy Lines: A Pub Crawl

Halflings and dwarves aren’t the only ones who enjoy a good Ale from time to time, you know. Word has it that goblins enjoy a drink as much as anybody else, and some say even the undead embrace the art of hops. What else is there to do in the afterlife anyway?

A big part of Norrath Brewing is the exploration of any and all taverns, be it multi-level beer halls like Slug’s Tavern in Neriak or just a barkeep operating out of a single-room hut in West Karana. In that spirit, Alefia and I decided to check in with some enemy races to see what kind of watering holes they’ve come up with.

First stop on the list is Runnyeye! It’s a good thing we’re knocking this one out first, as getting to the bar is no simple task. Hoofing it down a four level maze with torch and map in hand, there certainly are many interesting creatures to behold. Some are so fearless as to engage even us, triple their level! Then there’s the booming voice continually echoing through the citadel halls: “You feel brave enough to challenge the Goblin Lord in his lair. Brave, or foolish?

The journey to the bottom is worth it though, as these Pickclaws actually have a pretty decent setup down here. They’ve got a painting of a mushroom, a golden portrait of the Goblin King, a nice crackling fireplace, and an impressive amount of barreled beer in reserve! Heck there’s even a janitor on duty. We were also surprised to find the bartender to be so kind to sell to Alefia the dwarf. The same favor was not paid to I the halfling, however.

This is, afterall, the only place in the region to get a nice pickold gofer or shrunkn headcheez so it’s no wonder there are so many goblins here milling about. While one green skinned gentleman peers deeply into the flame pondering his subterranean existence, another has obviously had too many pints, soiled himself, and has now gone hidden in embarrassment.

It’s a shame the goblins are so misunderstood, really, as they turned out to be quite welcoming and have set our pub crawl off to an excellent start. Alas, we head out and make our way across the land to another goblin bar at Solusek’s Eye.

Upon arriving we take a moment to mourn the corpses awaiting resurrection, and begin to get the sense that these goblins might not be quite as welcoming as the Pickclaws were.

Our hunch is confirmed as we pass through the goblin city gate and down their halls, as every fire goblin in the realm has it out for us, making quite the mess of our blades. We finally reach the bar only to find it totally deserted. With nothing else to do we saddle up at a table and pop the corks off a few brews we luckily thought to bring along. Before long at all, a kind Rogue fellow by the name of Shankapotamous Rex appears out nowhere in the seat next to us and asks if we’re here to have a drink. We share with him some of our reserves and he tells us he’s a regular around here but the bartender hasn’t been seen in a while. He says he has money riding on his return any minute now though and we’re welcome to wait if we please.

With a little patience indeed, the bartender finally returned to his counter along with a couple impatient patrons looking for their tonics! He must of been out somewhere smoking that Asmag Weed he carries with him.

We decide to have a quick look around, and without warning another angry patron ignites us into flame! It’s amazing how clumsily he wields his staff, yet the Frothy Goblin Tonic in his other hand remains remarkably steady. Priorities.

After bonking him on the head with his own staff and taking his tonic, we head on out. The third stop on our adventure takes us across the pond to Faydwer as we head to The Estate of Unrest.

Alefia just couldn’t contain his excitement and had to pose for a pic with the friendly Butcherblock Skeleton brothers.

Undead folk might not have a functioning digestive system, bloodstream, or bladder, but at least they’ve been blessed with taste-buds to appreciate a nice glass of hops. In fact, the master brewer here at Unrest is a skeleton himself along with his ghoul minion.

They supply enough beverage to fill the rotted bellies of all walks of [after]life here including the bones of former monks, zombie incarnations of ex-nobles, festering old hags, and even miniature werebats. It’s always nice to see people coming together over a nice pint, isn’t it?

The peace didn’t last long however, as the regulars here definitely seemed a bit threatened by our presence.

We were lucky enough though that in the scuffle, the brewer dropped his satchel of Preserved Hops which we promptly looted before high tailing it out of there. Maybe now I can unlock the secret to their magical brew that keeps them kicking well into the afterlife!

With that our pub crawl came to it’s conclusion. A fantastic journey across many distant lands to visit an unlikely blend of taverns proves there’s still much left to explore. There are many obscure locations yet to cover here and a number of related quests to complete. I’m finally getting close to collecting a bottle of Capt. Nalot’s Triple Strength Rum, for example, and am currently gathering intelligence for a number of bar trips. Locations such as Timorous Deep, Cabilis, Oggok, and Skyshrine each have taverns I’ve yet to document, as do some even more unlikely zones such as Kithicor Forest! We’ll be back with the next adventure soon enough.

P.S. I’m updating the Project1999 wiki with information on every location I visit and I’ve created a special Taverns page for it. The entries are filled with additional information and screenshots including full NPC and quest lists.

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